Thursday, October 1, 2009

My Past- will pass.

We usually will realize and regret when the end of day come. I always heard people said, " human will tell the true before they die." And a lot of things happen in the pass that was undone or unfinished. All unveil before we close up our eyes forever.

However, it is good we can recall the things that happen in the pass. I only have my own time after i had been graduated from university. I have being disappearing for so long with my school friend. I never had time to join the gathering, sometime once in a blue moon. There was always had a lot of reasons about busying in my study. Finally i start to keep track with them. When i started to surf the net and open up all my email. I found out i hardly keep in touch with my list of friends in the email contact list. Surprisingly, i was outdated because i had not join the current famous network " facebook".

When i started to use it, it really give me a lot of surprise. I managed to find friends and the most amazing is ---- I found someone that really special to me during my secondary school. She was my "daughter" during that school time. We stopped contact each other after a "misunderstood". I have a lot of things wanted to tell her especially " sorry". I was glad that I found her and first of the action i took was----- said sorry to her and I hope she still remember me after so many years.

I was so happy that she accepted me back as a friend. Both of us slowly built up our relationship. After that i realized, there are among of us that do not want to look back to the past especially the one had did something wrong and make them shame of the past. So, there are people do not want to meet their old school friends or the person that knew about the "shame" past. Their friend occurrence will give them flashback or trauma to them. I am too have one or 2 friends that i do not wish to meet them again because they had hurt me in the past. Their present will bring back the "pain" again to me.

However, i had the chance to meet back the friend that i never think of seeing him again. He messaged me and arranged a time to meet me. Even though how reluctant I was during that time, i do not know what excuses to use to reject him. Deep inside my heart, i really wish that he will apologize to me. I knew these kind of thinking was kind of "childish". How can I expect a person that we have lost contact for so long come to say sorry to you because of the wrong action in the past.

The date turned out to be 2 strangers talking nothing. We became stranger because we didn't contact and didn't have each other recent update. It was a strange and uncomfortable date. We were best friend before and we had "fight" in the past. 2 of us from 2 totally different world. He had stopped furthering his study and now working. I was still a university student when i met him. It was kind a good experience to meet somebody that you don't wish to meet. We never talked about the past. The "past" was not important at all during the gathering. No anger and hatred between us. Then only i realized all the while i was the one who was angry with him. I was the one who keep all the bad memory. The other party still continue their life when i was angry. I really learn a big lesion from the gathering. Don't let the past hunt us down. Make all the past become our learning lesion. We must learn to treasure the "present". If we keep on thinking about the past, we will lost our present moment and also our future.

Everything happen in the past have pass. This is what i always said, when something dislike happen to us on the present moment, just tell yourself : "This will also pass." All the things happen in the past that make us suffering, a lot of us can't even recall back how badly we hurt and suffered that time. So, what bothering you the most now, never mind- this will also pass.


" Yesterday was a history,
tomorrow is a miracle,
today is a gift, that is why we called it as--- present".



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