A long wait

After we decided to keep the dog-" baby",we went to buy a collar, lead, and the chain. We went few pet shop and hope we could find a reasonable prize for the things we plan to buy. However, we didn't know how big is the Baby neck. This is the 1st time i will keep dog, never have a dog in my life before. I don't know how to choose for Baby. I tried to wear the collar to estimate how big is the Baby neck. I know is funny to wear the dog collar but this is the only way to test it. Both of us find out that it is quite uncomfortable to wear a collar for the rest of the life. We feel sorry for the dog but we have to let Baby wear so that we can put our name and phone number. If anything happen to the dog, other people who find him can contact us.

Moreover we went to a bookshop to do some reading about ' how to take care a dog?' and ' how to train a dog?'. Hope it will be useful to us. Even though my spouse had the experience kept dog, but this is the first time he will keep a big dog. It is going to be a new experience to both of us.

The next day we going to fetch Baby, we were so excited that finally we can take him back and in the mean time we worried that we can't take good care of him.

Now all our focus is on the dog. We really hope we can give the best to him. Hope we can become a good parents to him- ' Baby'.

Want or Don't want

Me and my spouse are animal lovers. However, we don't own any pets in the house except the birds staying behind the room holes, a stray cat sleeping under our car every night...We welcome them as our guests in the house. We know we can't own a pet because both of us too busy with works and activities. Another reason was my spouse had an experience of took care of few dogs. He feld deeply sad when the love dogs passed away one by one- is like lossing the beloved in our life. He couldn't take it anymore. Even though we like animals, we can't affort to have one now.

Our neighboor has 4 dogs. We are happy to have them as our neighboor because we can play with them sometime. Recently, they have a cute puppy -is a rottweiler. He is very small and cute little pupply, may be only one or 2 months old. We felt pitty for the puppy because the owner looked the puppy 24 hours in the cage. We seldom see the puppy running outside happily. It is quite sad see the puppy live like this. If we are the owner, we will make sure he can play and run freely. We will train him to be a obedient good dog just like our friend. However, he is not our pet. Everytime, we will call the puppy and pad him. He is so happy to see us. How lovely if he is our dog?

One day, one of the sister called up and asked us, can we help her to keep a 1 year old dog-"rott-shepherd". Both of us like dog but we can't have pet because we always not in the house. We are in the dilemma. Before we went to visit the dog, our mind running with" want? or don't want?" Or " how?". It was a real dilemma for us. We replied the sister that we can't have it. Few days ago, the sister called up again and said still can't find owner for her dog. So, we decided to meet up with the sister and the dog.

However, "want? or don' want" keep running in our mind. We still can't decide. There are a lot of responsibility if we want to have a dog. We must make sure we ready for it. Both of us want the best for the dog. We wish the best for the dog too.

After both of us finished and came back from work, we went to the sister house. She straight away showed us the dog after we arrived. The dogs started to bark at us fiercely. They are the parents of the dog. We still wondering where was the dog. The sister was calling " baby! baby!". At firt, we though the puppy should be very small in size. When the sister pointed to the dog... Wow, it was such a huge dog. When he (male dog) standed up, he already taller than us. Both of us in a sudden shock. However, he is a very handsome, smart friendly dog. Black shinning in colour with super energy. We wondered, both of us already very lazy in exercise, sure we don't have enough energy to play with him.

We had a chat with the owner (sister). She told us that the rules and regulation at her houseing area are not allow to keep more than 3 dogs. So, she had to give away the 1 year old puppy even though she so reluctant. She had tried to reach up few people, however they all couldn't have the dog. Then, she tried to reach us again because she had not one else to reach for. After heard from the sister, we decided to take the dog. We want the best for the dog and don't want the dog ended up badly. Both of us promise to take care the dog. However, the children of the owner didn't know the dog going to give away. We decided to come back another time to take the dog. Bercause we want the family have time to say good bye with the dog. We also need time to prepare our house and buy something for the dog.

We still afraid we can't provide a good and warmth house to the dog. We hope we can take good care of the dog. My spouse had the experience in taking care of the dog but i have none. I just love animal. We are preparing to welcome the dog. We hope we can give the best to the dog. May be this is " blessing in disguise" for us.

how to save money on shopping?

When I was a student, i never knew that it is very hard to earn money. There are always has my father who is supporting the family. However, there was always a change in the life (impermanence).

My father had to stop working because of the company bankrupt. Whole family suddenly lost financial support. I was in my 3rd year of university student. Two of my brothers still study, one of the brother at oversea further study. It was so sudden until we have to save money in all the way. I still don't know how our family can survive. However, we still live on this situation until now with my parents little earning. Now, i am working and i also contribute some to support my family. This is the wonder of being a family. Help each other when in need, share with each other whether is sad or happy.

The most important thing in save money is - we must plan and have budget before we go shopping. Now we will have a list to buy goods. Then we will calculate how much money we can spend to buy goods. Then only we go out to buy. We also learn to remember the price of the goods to compare. Next time we will go to the most reasonable shop to buy the things we want. We discipline ourselves not to go to the department when we don't have anything to buy, restrict ourselves to buy unnecessary things to keep in the storeroom. Think twice before we buy the things, first we must think " do I really need this thing?" " am I going to use it everyday?" Then we will find most of the things we bought only use it once in a blue moon.

So, the rules of the thumb as following:

1. list down the goods we want to buy
2. have a budget the goods that we need to buy
3. compare the price at different shopping malls
4. don't ever go to the department that is not in the list
5. everytime before we buy anything, ask ourselves," Do i really need this thing?" and " Am i going to use it frequently?" . If all the answer is " no", better think twice before buy.

Enjoy buying for all my friends and don't end up buying unnecessary things to put in the storeroom.

Stand up! My friend.

Yesterday, i received a call from my dear friend while i was working. She sound very sad and depress. She uttered out hardly the few words, ' friend, i failed...'. A long silent between us through the phone. I could heard her sigh and breathing. As a friend, i needed to think properly before i send out my message correctly to her. I did not want to hurt her because of my wrong speech. It took me few minutes to ask her, ' You failed the exam?'. I tried to reconfirm with her to make sure i get the right message. "ya, i failed. Can you tell me, what should i do now? What can i do now?'. Her voice filled with sadness. I paused quite long to think about her question.

These was a very hard situation for my friend. She tried so hard and study for the exam. The " passing" of the exam give her the route to her future destination. She became aimless and hopeless after all this hardworking turned out to be nothing for her. These was how far i can understand her feeling. The worst thing that hurt her so much and deep- other people that she think they were not qualified enough to pass the exam- they passed. It was totally unfair regarding to her .

I felt so sorry to her for what had happening to her. As a friend, i tried my best to calm her down. However, i could not answer her the question,' What can she do now?'

After i had been through my primary school, secondary school, Form 6 until unversity. I had been sit for so many exam throughout my life. The total of exam countless. There were few major exam in my life that i had use a lot of effort to score it and to use it to achieve my target.

I was a very simple person, i will set an ambition and study hard. If i get fantastic score, i will go higher education to reach my target. If i manage to pass my exam without any outstanding grade. I will purchase my dream in a different way. So, i won't be so disappointed anyway. I still could remember when i sat for Form 5 exam final exam( SPM). When the result came out, i didn't score with flying color. I was happy with my "passed" exam but felt sad with the Chinese subject which was my favorite subject turned out to be grade "C". I expected to be better grade. Never mind, it was just a test. The result cannot decide my success in future. Even though the result has some effect in my future. As long as i passed my exam and i could continue my study in college or Form 6. However, there was an incident happen while i took my result slip that day. There was a girl shouting and crying in front of the assembly hall. I thought she scored badly in her exam. Then only i found out she not satisfied with her result because she didn't managed to score all 10 subjects grade" A" in her exam. She only scored 9 "A". Is she a perfectionist? I wondered during that time. There were some of my friend went home with sad and sour face. I knew by heart most probably they didn't manage to pass the exam.

Of cause, some of them still felt disagree and unfair with the result. The most unfair part-the person who did not qualified enough had passed the exam or gained acknowledgment. All this kind of fair or unfairness things always happen at our surrounding. Actually, we do not need to be angry or sad with those unfair issues. Everything happen in our life is a combination of many factors. Some of the factor will bring you a big effects or small effects, we will never know. The exam paper mark by the examiner. We lose marks may be due to our writing, we didn't get to the point or didn't go straight to the point, didn't write enough point to according to the total marks given and etc... There are a lot of factors from our own selves or may be the examiners. We will never know. So, why we have to upset with all the unfairness when we don't know what is the reason of the unfairness? Why don't we use our time efficiently to find out our strength and weaknesses in the study and strive again. We will not lose anything if we resit the exam, we will only need extra year to reach our target. It doesn't mean we won't achieve our ambition. We just take longer time compare to other people. Why upset about that? No one ask us to compare. There is no rules said we must finish in certain time than only can archive and success.

Just like the story of the turtle and the rabbit. No matter you are the fastest or the slowest you will reach the final destination also. We also will success if we are the turtle. No one can stop you for purchasing your dream. We are the only one who stop ourselves to look forward. If we allow people to influence our life, it is mean that we are control by other. It doesn't mean that we don't listen to other people advices and opinions. We must appreciate them by listen with wisdom. We have to digest first which advice and opinion is suitable and usable. Then we only apply it in our life. We are the one who walk the path, the people surrounding us - they are just passed by. They won't follow us or accompany us to the end of our life.

So, stand up my friend. All my friends stand up, raise up your spirit now. Don't let the failure or challenge in your life stop you to go forward. Face the challenges and walk through it. We will learn some lesson whatever challenges in the life. We can do it as long as we have faith and confidence in ourselves. Stand up! my friend.


" Do not resent the heavens for one's fate,
do not blame our problems on other.
realize the negative cause lies within by us,
can only be changed by us,
resolved by us with understanding, diligence, love. "


" So often, we forget to be thankful.
but while we all have problems,
experience difficult relationships,
fail in our undertakings,
there are many things in our live to be thankful for.
all we have to do is to slow down, take note, value them and be thankful."

Art of "speaking"

After get married, i had been "hiding" in the house( jobless) for few months. My friend that I used to talk to is -my spouse because my friends of circle become smaller and smaller after married. All my friends are working and now i live quite a distance from my hometown. So, the circle of my friends become many to few... Slowly slowly, i connect my friends through internet. I am so used to communicate using the electronic technologies until i lost the most basic and important tool- human communication.

I didn't find out i had lost such abilities until i start to go to work for my first. day.I realized i don't like to talk with people so much. I just smile with them then i continue my work. I totally like a "odd" person in the office. Sometime, i don't even have the courage to say thanks to the person who introduce the job to me. The worst part is- i intended to write a " thank you" letter to mail to the person. Luckily I don't need to knock my own head, my spouse already " give me a long lesson" in " how to deal and communicate with people?" . It was such a long lesson and it took me few days to digest it. Awkwardly, i managed to say thanks to them. Inside my heart, i am so grateful to their help but i just don't used to it.

The 1st lesson of communication in human relationship is- We must acknowledge people kindness in helping us even is a small act. Be grateful and appreciate people who help us. We should not just ignore or become egoistic that think people should help you in any way. We must remember that no people must give hand to us during the hardship. It is because they have the kind-heart that want to help us to get over the difficulties. They no need to help us because they won't get anythings and didn't think of get some benefits form helping us. Of course, we not need to buy a expensive to show our appreciation. A word of " thanks " is good enough.

"Even the smallest gift, given from the unselfish and caring heart, is a gift of great heart."

Second lesson of the "Art of speaking" i learned when i joined a discussion with our mentor. We were meeting with the mentor for some advice for our new activities. In the beginning, i had told all of you i lost the tool of communication. I was totally did not know the purpose of the meeting. I just like the outsider among them. Sitting there doing nothing in the discussion. My friends throw out a lot of question to the mentor. The advisor answered them with patience and compassion and wisely. I was the only one felt like the question were mindless or too common. One of the brother asked a statement to seek for the opinion. I quickly disagreed with him because the statement was not totally correct. The brother stunned and utter-less. But the adviser was very kind and answered his question. I didn't realized i had put the brother in a " embarrassed" condition. After the meeting finished, suddenly i felt like my head had been knock by the rock. I found out i had make a small mistake. They were having a interview session with the adviser so that could get more different opinion from different people. I was the only " innocent rabbit" that run into the group and caused a chaos to them. They have to ask a common question or current phenomenon in the society to the mentor so that they can get different idea and perspective. I shouldn't disagreed with the brother on the spot. I should be understand the condition and give the brother chances to talk and give opinion. Even though is not a interview session, whenever we have a discussion, we must give people opportunities to talk and give common. We as a listener should not disagree with them immediately, we should think first and try to understand what is the messages people try to convey to us. Second lesson is - give other people to talk and we be the active listener. Do not judge a person statement immediately, try to understand why they said so before we come to a conclusion.


"Listen to others non-judgmentally and impartially, without thoughts of condemnation,self -interest, evaluation. "

There are still a lot to learn the " art of speaking". Please think before we speak. Words can be like a sharp knife, once we said it out, the wound will never recover. There is always a wound.

Speak wisely.

"When about to speak of one to another,
consider first if you would say it directly to that person-
same intention
same words
same tone,
if not, it is best to remain silent. "

Want to change the world?

I have a very bad habit... I like to use the word- " stupid". The word automatically will come out from my mouth whatever i try to comment something. The worst thing is - i don't even realize i use this word so frequent until my spouse remind me.

Something that is important that we always forget - My husband remind me. One day, our children will follow your footstep and say everything is - " stupid". It was an ironic statement for me. Almost everything that i dislike it, i will put the "stupid" word on it. It doesn't matter what i am talking about, i will just say it. It become so automatically and naturally. He was right that children will imitate the parent behavior and speech because parent are the role model for the children in their early childhood. He gave me some example that the child may use.

"Mommy, the uncle so "stupid" digging the nose in the car."

"Daddy, mommy so "stupid" ..."

We burst into laughter after we thought of many examples our child may use in the future. It is true that I still follow some of my parent habits. It is so difficult to correct it because the habits are unnoticeable. It show me that my parent really influence me a lot during my childhood. We must be very careful and aware when we behave ourselves in front our children. We can say it but don't make it as a habit.

Just imagine that when our children at school, the teacher ask the student to make a comment. Our children will just answer with " stupid" spontaneously. How can parent expect children to change if we are the one who started it and using it? It is like the father who is a smoker asking the son quit smoking. So, we better change all the bad habits before we have children. If we want our children to be a good person, first of all we must start to change ourselves. We can't change other people. We only can change ourselves or change our mindset of thinking.

It is the same thing if we apply in our friends and family. We always wanted to change our family and friends and think it is the best for them. The reality is - we can't change anyone except we change ourselves first. Everyone is unique. It is very hard to change the habits because the implant in us since we are young or since past life. We cannot force people to change but we can try to change ourselves once we aware that we have bad habits or change our mindset to view the world in different angle. No one is perfect in this world, that is why the world is beautiful.

" Want to change the world?
first, change yourself."

Money back guarantee

Know your right on the things you have purchase...you can get your money back if you are not satisfied. this is a story from a friend of mine.

I concur this message about Tribunal court claims. To support this story, let me tell u guys about my experience two months ago.

I bought a robotic floor vacuum cleaner for slightly over rm1000 after believing the sales talk and seeing it perform live on the counter top. It seemed to do whatever was promised there and then. So, I got one for myself after that.

After trying it out for 4 days at home, I was totally dissapointed and fed-up with the unit in terms of performance output and convenience of use. So, I brought it back to the outlet in 1-Utamafor a refund. Of course their 1st reaction was to persuade you to exchange it for some other electrical appliances but I insisted on a refund only. They stood firm and refused my request. So, I did exactly like what was said in this e-mail, I told them that I will bring this issue to the Tribunal Tuntutan Pengguna Malaysia and file a court case against them. Immediately, the supervisor called his boss and after repeating the same speech to him myself throught the phone, he relented and gave me back my money in full.

So, guys n gals out there, know your rights and STAND BY IT! I did...and I got back my hard earned money - rm1000!

Contract Law In MALAYSIA

Legal Issue on Contract Law in Malaysia - Good for us to know

This is something I like to share with you from one of my seminar recently. If you find this informative, pls circulate. It was conducted by A/P Catherine Tay on Legal issues in E-commerce.

Notice that most of the time, the receipt / invoice you received from the merchant carries this exclusion clause or similarly worded statement: 'Goods sold are not returnable' or 'No refund once sold'.

The thing that I have learnt from her is that : 'As long as your good is purchased for home use and not for business ( i.e. to be resold), the above exclusion clause is VOID.

That means, as long as the good is defective, regardless of what is worded, you CAN get back all your money spent. You do not have to accept a repair on the good or an exchange. You CAN ask for a refund. AND you are LEGALLY right and entitled to! What a relevation!!

And most of the time the merchant will refuse to return you your money.

Her advice? >From her own experience (and no less than 7 and all successful!) , she will threaten the merchant with four words: 'SEE YOU IN COURT!'

The court here refers to the Small Claims Tribunal Court .

However, you don't have to tell them what court! All you have to pay is RM10 admin fee and the loser (the merchant) will have to refund you the money PLUS the admin fee!

She shared this with us because she felt that even educated people are cowed by such unfair wordings (which includes her jaded friends who are not lawyers).

Pls try not to let the merchant fleece you the next time you have a defective good.

I know where to file this. On the 16th floor of Putra Place (The Mall opposite Putra World Trade Centre). The form cost RM5.00. The Tribunal will settle within 2 months period.

Tribunal Tuntutan Pengguna Malaysia ,
Tingkat 16, Putra Place ,
100, Jalan Putra ,
50622 KUALA LUMPUR
Tel: 03 - 40492300 / 40424181 Fax: 03 - 40424259

Survey. Compare. Save

After so many months of saving, finally we had enough money to buy a washing machine. Before we decided to buy a washing machine, we went to many supermarkets to do survey on the price and the benefit of buying. This is one of the method to save money.

Before of deciding to buy any item:

1.you must go many shops and places to survey the price and the benefit of buying the item. What are the benefit you must consider?There are: -

• how many year of the warranty given?
• free of delivery charge?

2. Is better we buy a item that is near to the headquarter of the item, then it will be easier if the item need to send for repair.

3. the 3rd factor is quite depend on the buyer, the factor is " the delivery time". Some of the place can deliver to your house the same day or the next day. Some of the shop need 3 days to deliver to your house because the storage place is quite far.


So, there are the 3 points that we always use before we really decided to buy an item. Hope it is useful for all of you all. Don't forget to " Survey, Compare" then buy. It will help you save money.

Hijack???

Yesterday i went for a interesting course, these was the 4th class that i had attended. The class was about Emotional Intelligence.

We always heard people said we must think before we act. Honestly, do we really think before we act? Or most of the time we are influence by our emotion? For example, when we heard about Mega sales or promotion, how do we feel? Another example, when we scolded or blame by other party, what come to our mind first? Ya, angry and wanted to scold back the person. Then, the emotional come first. There are a lot of things happen in the daily life, if we recall and think properly, our emotional come first. We seldom and rarely will think before we act.

There was a new words i learned during the course- Amygdala Hijacks. Amygdala Hijacks mean---- we respond to the condition before we think. My speaker told us most of us, everyday 99% we will experience Amygdala Hijacks. We all will respond before we think. What is Amygdala? Amygdala is a part of our brain. The function of Amygdala just found out this 5-6 years. What is the function? Amygdala is the site of our emotion and also a site of "fight and flight" respond. All our emotional come from Amygdala.

I do agree that i have Amygdala Hijacks everyday. For example, if the food i cook didn't turn out to be nice, i will be disappointed and angry why i can't cook well. In this condition, i have "hijack" again. I had influence by my emotion. I should think in a positive way, " at least i know one of the bad cooking method. i can try other cooking method." Then my mood would not be affected. Everyday will be "Hijack". Sometime i don't even realize that i am influence by my emotion. The respond is being repeated so many years until it had become my habit. Automatically respond to the surrounding.

There is something that we will always affected by our emotion- when we scold or blame or angry by other people. How do we feel? Sure, i will feel angry. If i was being blame blindly, i will scold and fight back. If i did wrong, i still feel very angry with the person. The worst respond, is may be few of us will end up beat the person. What is all this indicating? It is all our emotion. If we think properly, who is the one is angry in this condition? Ya, is the person who scold, angry or blaming us. So, the person is angry, why we should react and why we should angry. All this is Amygdala hijack.

So, how to deal with the "Hijack"? We must always aware our emotion. We must always ask why we angry? why we have hatred? Always think before we react to our surrounding. Of course it is very difficult. We can slowly train ourselves. We know that we always influence by our emotion. So, we must always aware what is the trigger and try to deal it differently. We can cultivate and nurture more positive values, like compassion, loving kindness, joy and equanimity. Other than that, we always must be aware our bad habits, slowly improve ourselves.

Don't be upset you still having "hijack", it is normal. It is good enough as long as your total of "hijack" reduce everyday.


" suffering arises from our own untamed minds,
to find genuine happiness,
discipline the mind and eliminate the negative states. "

My Past- will pass.

We usually will realize and regret when the end of day come. I always heard people said, " human will tell the true before they die." And a lot of things happen in the pass that was undone or unfinished. All unveil before we close up our eyes forever.

However, it is good we can recall the things that happen in the pass. I only have my own time after i had been graduated from university. I have being disappearing for so long with my school friend. I never had time to join the gathering, sometime once in a blue moon. There was always had a lot of reasons about busying in my study. Finally i start to keep track with them. When i started to surf the net and open up all my email. I found out i hardly keep in touch with my list of friends in the email contact list. Surprisingly, i was outdated because i had not join the current famous network " facebook".

When i started to use it, it really give me a lot of surprise. I managed to find friends and the most amazing is ---- I found someone that really special to me during my secondary school. She was my "daughter" during that school time. We stopped contact each other after a "misunderstood". I have a lot of things wanted to tell her especially " sorry". I was glad that I found her and first of the action i took was----- said sorry to her and I hope she still remember me after so many years.

I was so happy that she accepted me back as a friend. Both of us slowly built up our relationship. After that i realized, there are among of us that do not want to look back to the past especially the one had did something wrong and make them shame of the past. So, there are people do not want to meet their old school friends or the person that knew about the "shame" past. Their friend occurrence will give them flashback or trauma to them. I am too have one or 2 friends that i do not wish to meet them again because they had hurt me in the past. Their present will bring back the "pain" again to me.

However, i had the chance to meet back the friend that i never think of seeing him again. He messaged me and arranged a time to meet me. Even though how reluctant I was during that time, i do not know what excuses to use to reject him. Deep inside my heart, i really wish that he will apologize to me. I knew these kind of thinking was kind of "childish". How can I expect a person that we have lost contact for so long come to say sorry to you because of the wrong action in the past.

The date turned out to be 2 strangers talking nothing. We became stranger because we didn't contact and didn't have each other recent update. It was a strange and uncomfortable date. We were best friend before and we had "fight" in the past. 2 of us from 2 totally different world. He had stopped furthering his study and now working. I was still a university student when i met him. It was kind a good experience to meet somebody that you don't wish to meet. We never talked about the past. The "past" was not important at all during the gathering. No anger and hatred between us. Then only i realized all the while i was the one who was angry with him. I was the one who keep all the bad memory. The other party still continue their life when i was angry. I really learn a big lesion from the gathering. Don't let the past hunt us down. Make all the past become our learning lesion. We must learn to treasure the "present". If we keep on thinking about the past, we will lost our present moment and also our future.

Everything happen in the past have pass. This is what i always said, when something dislike happen to us on the present moment, just tell yourself : "This will also pass." All the things happen in the past that make us suffering, a lot of us can't even recall back how badly we hurt and suffered that time. So, what bothering you the most now, never mind- this will also pass.


" Yesterday was a history,
tomorrow is a miracle,
today is a gift, that is why we called it as--- present".

090909

090909 was a auspicious day, a lot of couples choose to tie their knot on that day. Wish them have a happy marriage and everlasting relationship.

On the other hand, there was an incident happen on that same day that stirred my mind...
I went out with my sister in law to buy foods for our dinner. When we on the way walked to the supermarket, I saw an elderly man walked in a very slow pace with an umbrella and a walking stick. I felt sympathy for him and I wondered did he need some help. I wondered...

After we finished buying the foods, we crossed over the road because we wanted to buy some snack foods for our supper. On the way walked to our car, we saw the elderly man again standing at the road side. It was so dangerous. First thing came across into our mind was- Did he need our help to cross the road? ( It was funny that when we saw a elderly person, the first things come across to over mind always is -- they need help to cross over the road.)

We approached the man and asked him, does he need help to cross over the road. He said he was trying to stop a taxi to send him home but there was no taxi willing to send him home. So, we decided to send him home. I was waiting with him at the roadside while my sister went to take the car.

He told me he had to buy his dinner himself because his son went for dating. The son will come home only by 10pm and mostly will not buy foods for him. By the time, he will be very hungry and ended up didn't eat anything. He said he now 80 years old plus and the son 50 years old plus. He has no energy to "fight" with the son. The wife had passed away and left him with the son. He wished the wife could passed away after Chinese new year, but she left him earlier. Currently no people really take care of him.

I was so sympathize and empathize him. He need someone to be a listener and share his story. Just a short while, he told me a lot of things about his family. I helped him to get into the car and he said usually people scolded him for being slow. He took more effort in walking compare to us. Our one step took him 10-15 steps. So, we can imagine how slow he walk and how long he take to reach a place.

On the way to his house, he continued to tell us about him... until he reached the house.

One day, i will grow old like him... I will be alone... I will have a lot of sickness... I cannot prevent all this happen to me in the future.

There is " The Code of Disciplines for the Layman", name as " Sigalovada sutta" is the Buddha teaching which emphasized social relations among various member of a society. There are 6 quarters; the parents as the East, teachers as the South, wife and husband as the West, friends and associates as the North, servant and employees as the Nadir, ascetics and brahmins as the Zenith. We can learn from the " Sigalovada sutta" how to play our roles as a parents, children, spouses and other. I will list down 3 roles as parents, children and spouses.

Parents and Child ( East)
A) in 5 ways, householder's son, a child should minister to his parents as the East:

1. being supported i shall support them,
2. i shall do their duties,
3. i shall keep the family lineage,
4. i shall act in such a way as to be worthy if my inheritance,
5. furthermore, i shall offer alms in honour of my departed relatives.

B) in 5 ways, householder's son, the parents who are thus should ministered to by their children as the East show their compassion:

1. they dissuade them from evil,
2. they persuade them to do good,
3. they teach them an art,
4. they would give them in marriage to a suitable partners
5. at the proper time, they would hand over to them their inheritance.

Wife and Husband ( West)
A) in 5 ways, householder's son, should a wife as the West be ministered by a Husband:

1. by courtesy
2. by not despising her
3. by faithfulness
4. by handing over authority to her
5. by providing her with ornaments

B) the wife who is thus ministered by her husband as the west shows her compassion to her husband in 5 ways:

1. she performs her duties in perfect order
2. she is hospitable to visitors
3. she is faithful
4. she protects what he brings
5. she is industrious and not lazy in discharging her duties

There are a lot to learn to be a parents , children and husband/ wife. If we take good care of our parents, our children will take good care of us. There is a connection and continuation.

Finally, i wish the elderly man has a happy life. May he be well and healthy. Hope there are people have the compassion to help people especially the elderly one. Don't forget that, we will grow old one day, we need families and people to take care of us in the future. So, we must have the initiative to help people in the first place. The connection will start and continuation will follow.


" As a mother protects her only son with her life,

we too can cultivate a boundless love for all beings.

eventually our love will pervade the whole world."

how to save money be motivated by learning the basic

"IF..., Then..."

Today, I had a chance to meet my " brother" that we had lost contact for 5 years. The amazing part was i found him by using the " face book".

We hardly contact with each other during this 5 years. Both of us were busy. ( Actually, when i start to recall back the 5 years. I don't think i was very busy. Most of the time i was lazy, day dreaming, doing something else that i hardly can remember.)

A lot of things between us are change. He gain weight and looks " bigger size" than last time. Surprisingly, he can talk more than me compare to him last time. Usually, I was the active part (talkative) and he was the passive one (quiet). Now, i have " beaten" by him. He become more knowledgeable and funny. 5 years at oversea can really "brush" him up.

We are lucky that we still have the chance to meet up after 5 years. Fortunately, we never have any "fight" and "war" last time. If we had big quarrel last time, and we didn't manage to meet up, i will no have chance to say sorry to him and ask for forgiveness. I will always feel "regret".

I still remember i had a " girlfriend" during my secondary school. There was a quarrel happen and we didn't talk since then. I couldn't recall back what had gone through between us. We were very close until we called each other " mother and daughter". We cried and laughed together. However, I lost the memory that " how we started fighting and became worse?". I blamed myself for forgetting her. I angry myself why I didn't appreciate her and didn't ask her for forgiveness. Unfortunately, I can't even find her using "face book". I always regret for being such childish last time. If we managed to settle the problem last time, we will meet up someday for gathering. Now, just left the "memory"...

I realized there is no " if ......, then everything will be different" . If there is "if", something will change but we will not satisfy with the result. Human being always not content with the choice they make. So, if we have done something wrong, we must faster "apologize" to the person. Please don't wait, if not we will end up regretting. Human make mistake is very common and normal. Is nothing to be shame to say " sorry" except you want to be sorry for your remaining life.

There were a mother and son, they always quarrel. Hardly they can sit down and talk. Anything also can ended up as a big fight. One day, they started to fight again because of the son always went out and came home late. The mother scolded him and cursed her son," stupid son! always against me, later you will involve in an accident! Don't come home anymore if you don't listen to me!". She always scolded the bad words to the son but she didn't expect the "curse" became real. The son died in an accident after the quarreled. His motor was hit by a car. She felt so sorry and didn't expected her "curse" will come true. She didn't want her son to die, she scolded him because she too angry. She thought the son will listen to her if she scolded him. But it didn't turn out that way. The son became more rebellious. Ended up the son really never come home. She so regret she had said the bad words, " if she knew the accident will happen, she will not fight with him and scolded him" . But there is no "if" for her.

We always take everything as granted. We never be grateful and appreciate the things we have. A lot of things we need to make a choice. How we know which one is the good choice? Just think after 20 years when you look back in this incident, what you wish you can do at that time. Maybe you will have better idea. Remember that, there is no "if". So, we must always be mindful with our speech, action and thought. And the most important person - is the person with us now.

Be good and nice to the person with you now, treat every gathering as the last time, then you will not fight with them or screw up the friendship. Because we will never know what will happen after " now". Maybe after the gathering, one of us will died because of sickness or accident. We will never know. If did happen, we will not have second chance. There is no "take 2" in life like the movie making.

So, take good care of our parents and family, be nice to all the friend.

Be careful when we talk and behave.

Think more good things about other people.

When we start to do now, we will no regret. Care the person that with us now. Think twice before we say or do anything. Make it as a habit. Then we will no regret.

" in our last moment, we will ask: What have i accomplished? Did i make a difference?
Do not wait till then - Ask NOW."

Help people? Think about it first.

Helping people is not an easy task. We must consider a lot of factors before we help someone. We must always take this into concern that we should not take things personally when we help people and don't attach to it.

Once I had a friend caught with a illness. He needed someone to prepare lunch and dinner for him. He couldn't take the canteen foods because he needed some plain foods. So, I volunteered myself to help him. Now the issue come, frankly speaking, I seldom cook and I don't know how to cook. ( Here is the problem, I don't have the ability to help out but i offered myself.)

Ended up i needed to ask my friend help to cook for him. Then i became the runner. Ran to get the foods and ran to his place to pass him the food. I was busy running for few days for his lunch and dinner. Luckily he recovered after few day. ( before we help people we still must consider that, do we have the ability and time to help.)

A lot of us will think that we will be a best friend forever. Sorry to say that, the ending is not always is a happy ending.

Something happen, a misunderstanding between us. We turned out to be enemy. There was no chance for us to sit down and talk to settle the misunderstanding. I started to question myself, " Do I still willing to help people even though people tend to forget your kindness?" I realized that all the good deeds we have done, people have the choice to be thankful to us or the other hand, they might blame us and find fault to us because we mess up the things.

The lesson I had learned from the incident was before we help people we must think that do we have the ability and time to help. Help people with open heart. We should help people but don't expect there are something in return. Jesus helped so many people but only one of them said thank you to him. So, help people with pure and sincere heart.

Nowadays, we still must be careful when we want to help people, sometime we will be trap by the bad guy by using our kindness. There was a real story that was lady tried to help the boy that lost his way home. When she brought the child home, she suddenly fainted and unconscious. When she woke up, she was being raped in a empty house. So, we must have extra precaution and be careful before help people. Remember that take care our own safety first so that we won't fall into the prey and become the victim.

It doesn't mean that we should stop helping people but we must think about our safety first and make sure we don't fall into the prey.

There are a lot of ways to help people. Be with the person when the friend is sad and down. Speak kind words to your friends. Smile to everyone when we see anyone passing us. A small little action can create an echo. Do not look down every good deeds you had done, there are a endless effect that we cannot see by eyes.

" Our action affect others,
just like a single drop of water splashing on the ocean:
the resulting ripple sets all the other drops of water in the ocean morning."

Overcoming difficulties

how to overcome difficulties?in this world weather you are young, old, tall short, rich or poor you will have to go thru difficulties. how does this happen? according to Buddha, we have difficulties because of this 3 element. these elements are:

a. birth, sickness, old age, dying and death. we have to go thru this no matter what we are. we have to be birth to this world. birth brings a lot of pain to our mothers and ourselves. Once we grow up we face with problem like sickness in both physical and mental form. physical sickness is like having flu, fever or some more serious ones like hypertension or diabetes. mental sickness is like when we lost our love ones, work and study stress. we stress up ourselves on almost everything from buying a car to having children to worry about our loves one, worry about the security of our loved ones. when we came to old age there will be a lot of pain, sickness and being left out from the society. finally dying and death. no matter who we are we cannot escape this.

b. The real reason for having all the suffering like what mention above is because we have attachment.we have attachment to both things we like and things we dont like. when we attach to this we will suffer when its separated from us. look at yourself in the mirror. you attach to your work, car, house, status, wife, children, family. you attach to your routine life style. some even attach to thier good feeling of sad, happy or even anger. that is why some people have to go to the movies so that they can satisfy themselves. some people attach to the happy feeling that they will be easily anger when they feel that other feeling started coming in. some people have attachment not to see some one they dont like so when some one whom he/she dont like come in that person will be angry or have ill will and sometimes hatred.

c. because of attachment and that we have attach for so long on this state we dont want to leave them. we come to crave for this attachment. for example, when a person likes an ice cream so much they begun to have dreams on the ice cream and have to have them everyday. the minutes the normal routine of having ice-cream changes, that person suffers.

After looking thru, this 3 elements are inter related and there are ways to overcome this problem. we just have to learn to disiplin ourselves and remind ourselves on this 8 formula of rightfullness:

a. right thoughtfulness
b. right speech
c. right understanding
d. right livelihood
e. right effort
f. right concentration
g. right mindfulness
h. right action

i will explain more in the next blogs. if any of the readers have any question you can write to me or leave a comment on this blog. i appreciate your participation to make ourselves a better person by sharing your points and view.

Aim Height or High?

When I was in standard 4, I was the 2nd shortest girls in the class. I rather wished i scored 2nd place in the class but not the "height". I still remembered I only have 150cm that year. So, i had a "AIMED HEIGHT" plan.

Both of my parents are around 160cm. My eldest brother is the highest with 169cm and was a basketball school representative. I still had the change to gain " height" according to my parents " gene".

I started my initial plan by joining sport activities. I know sport can help me to gain " height". So, I participated in the Netball team and became the school representative. However the netball team was put off and Of course, I still didn't gain any " cm".

Then, i turned to join basketball team. There was slight improvement for my height after 3 years of playing sports. I gained 1 cm and still far away to 160cm. I stopped playing basketball and changed to focus on my study at standard 6 (UPSR). No aimed " height" plan; now, "aim high" in the exam.

My UPSR exam turned out quite well and i scored 4 "A" out of 6 subjects. These was my first time scoring well in my exam during primary school.When i was in secondary school ,I still never gave up in " aim height". I looked forward in volleyball during my secondary school. That time i already had 152cm. I hoped that the volleyball didn't disappointed me. After 2 years of hard worked in volleyball, my height still remained at 152cm. Maybe it will become my "lucky number".

Now i had 153cm and I had finished my university study. Do i still mind my " height?"
No, I found out all the while i was aimed for nothing. The "aim height" was not that important that " aim to be a better person for the world". Seriously, nobody competed and compared my height. Except that I need people to help me to reach the thing that higher than me. By the way, now i have ladder to assist me.

The important thing is- I must be content with my " height" and the things i have. All these years I had wasted to blame the "height" but I have learn to " count the blessing." I have a lot of blessing that i always forget like my parents still alive and taking good care of me; I have a chance to study till university; I have a healthy physical body and mind. What else that i still need to aim for?

When I start to be contented, I have nothing to blame and complaint. Because i have a lot of blessing. Everyone is being blessed, that is why we have the chance to come to this world. No "aim height" but " aim high" is still important. Aiming high is a factor that push us move forward. Just need to remember that, the process is more important than the result. Start from today, Be contented and count your blessing"


" Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belong to you."~~~ LAO TZU~~



how to save money be motivated by learning the basic

Appreciating my mom

we have been brought in to this world by both our parents. they have been brought into this world by thier parents. without thier parents, our parent would be here for us to be here. therefore, we should appreciate them for bringing us to this world.

however, most of us see this world fill with suffering. we often blame them for bringing us into this world. Most of us also don't see the happiness which we have gone thru and only see what unpleasant thing happens.

this is a story of my parents as i recall their kindness in taking care of me.

i was from a small town called Kuantan. i still remember when i was young my mom will be the earliest one to get up in the morning. she will prepare the fire( those day we use charcoal as the burning material not like these day we got gas). the charcoal stove were outside. she will go out in the pitch dark stove to start the fire so that she could boil water for us to take our bath.

She will then prepare food and boil water to make tea for our breakfast so that we will not be hungry when we go to school. That time my family do not have much money she would give me 30cents for me to buy food during recess. do you know how she get the money?

in my house compound, there were a big mango tree which the local call "Mempelam" its a samller species of mango but the local there loves them very much. our housing area are mostly malays and are very friendly. my mother will collect these mango's and would sell them to the nearest "nasi lemak" stall to help sell for her. The fruit not only sold out the minutes it was put on sale, some have start booking.

she does not stop caring for us till today. constantly cooking, cleaning and worrying about our whereabout. i am lucky to have such a wonderful mom and i hope that she will continue to be my mom in the many lives to come.

some of us may not be as lucky as i am to have a good mother. sometimes we quarell with her. keeping our grudges, shout at her and so on. however, mom like any one of us also face with many difficulty in life. if we could open up our heart and learn to forgive her i'm sure she will open up her heart to love you back. our mom is the greatest angel on earth which you dont need to die to see one.

LOVE and YOU will be Loved. i would like to dedicate this song to all the mother. i was born to make you happy - by britney spears






how to save money be motivated by learning the basic

MOM, I LOVE U!

I born a in a middle class family. We have 3 siblings. I am the only daughter and most of the people will think i am the " pearl"( zhang shang ming zhu) in the family. No, we all wrong, my parent treat 3 of us equally.

My dad was an editor for a Chinese magazine and is the breadwinner of the family. My mom is the housewife. 3 of us spend most of the time with the mom because my dad was busy during weekend to look for new topic for the magazine.

We owned a car and a motorbike. Surely my dad drove the car and mom ride the motor. We took bus to school and some time mom will ride us in special occasion like tuition, other activities in the school.

As a housewife, mom cook everyday, do the house chores and taking good care of us. Sometime we will help our mom in household work and I realized that we did not appreciate our mom and dad. Parent daily work in the house is like a normal phenomenon.

I joined a lot of sports in my school day. When i was a volley ball representative at form 2, i needed to go back to school to practice at Saturday. My mom was the one who sent me. At one of the Saturday, the only vehicle (motor) broken down. At first me and mom planned to take bus but the bus facilities at our housing area not welly developed yet. Finally we had to walk to school. The walking distance from my house to school need 45minutes. Mom seldom exercise because she need to take care the family and the house. So, it was very difficult for her to walk so far. However, she never complaint. I did not realized that mom could not walk for so long and she will have difficult in breathing. We needed to take some break on the journey to my school because mom needed to take rest before continue.

After she dropped me at the school, she walked back alone to the house. These was the first time i looked at her back. ( Even though i stay with mom for so many year, but i seldom see it as what it is. I didn't really appreciate my parent. i felt so sorry. That is why i had such strong feeling when i looking at my mom back.)I felt so guilty, why i can't just cancel the practice? Why i always think about myself and never try to understand and care about my mom? She sacrifice so much for us, she hope the best for us. Why i can't sacrifice even once for my mom?

" mom, i am so sorry that i never appreciate your sacrifice. I will be a better person and a successful person in the future to make you happy, proud and no worry.


MOM, I LOVE YOU!"

The Buddha had said in the " Filial Piety Sutra", there are 10 types of kindness bestowed by the mother on the child:

1. The kindness of providing protection and care while the child is in the womb.
2. The kindness of bearing suffering during the birth.
3. The kindness of forgetting all the pain once the child has been born.
4. The kindness of eating the bitter herself and saving the sweet for the child.
5. The kindness of moving the child to a dry place and lying in the wet herself.
6. The kindness of suckling the child at her breast and nourishing and bringing up the child.
7. The kindness of washing away the unclean.
8. The kindness of always thinking the child when it has traveled far.
9. The kindness of deep care and devotion.
10. The kindness of ultimate pity and sympathy.